Love vs. Insecurity

I was, as scheduled, writing the follow-up to the long distance relationships article. I got a bit carried away and ended up writing a bunch about love vs. insecurity relationships. This is worth of having a stand-alone post, so here it is!

The Truth About Relationships

There are two types of relationships: those built out of love and those built out of insecurity. Relationships built out of love are most of the ones which will end up living happily ever after, while the ones built out of insecurity are deemed, in most cases, to end up in horrible break-ups, divorce, etc.

Here I’ll help you identifying both types:

Relationships of Insecurity

Few like to be alone. And few have the chances of really choosing that perfect person they really want. Because of that, most people settle for less. And it’s not bad, it’s just a personal choice. Many people prefer to be with someone who they are not really in love with rather than being completely alone.

These are the couples that just happened. Meaning that one good day, drunk in a bar, they both kind of liked each other a bit later they were kissing, etc. It’s not bad, I insist. But these relationships won’t have the solid foundations the other kind would.

These people would rather fill in the empty space in their lives without thinking too much if it’s the perfect match or not. They are not filling it with what they would really love to and, because of that, conflicts and complications are much more likely to happen.

Mind, meeting this way doesn’t mean that your relationship is deemed to become a failure. It may well end up being a perfect and happy ever after story. It’s just not so common.

Relationships of Love

These are the opposite. It’s when both are dying for each other and form a relationship only because they are convinced the other is the one.

It’s the usual case of when you are looking for one person in particular. It’s when you say that THIS girl will be my next girlfriend (or, for girls, boyfriend) and work hard to make that special person fall in love with you. It’s when you are dead convinced to hit on that only person and work hard just to get that person. The others, wandering around and waiting in line, do not interest you. You want that one.

It’s the famous love strike. But it goes beyond that: it’s an embrace of personality, looks, goals, ideas and more. It’s when you are really certain that that person is the one who you want to spend your days with. And it’s not as common as you might think.

With these relationships you don’t have a void to fill. You are not desperate to settle down. You are having a great time and don’t feel like grounding with the first chance you have. In fact, on the contrary, for much that it would hurt you, you are not ready to settle down until the princess in blue pops up in your life.

Once she does, you then make your move. And, of course, having a relationship with the princess of your dreams won’t always end in the happily ever after story. People are, after all, quite complicated. Nothing is certain. But if I had to be for a couple to last long, this would be it.

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