In relationships, the early stages are always the most thrilling. It’s great to discover you have chemistry with someone, and then slowly getting to know each other intimately. It’s where most of the fun is.
But it doesn’t end all there. A healthy, happy and long-lasting relationship will bring lots of joy and magic too. Only in a sustained relationship can the couple bring the best of each other out, and completely fill each other’s romantic wishes.
There’s, however, one big problem: many (MANY!) couples stay together even when they realize that they don’t really belong with each other. This is when fights start, resentment grows and, in the end, cheating happens. Such relationships should never happen in the fisrt place.
How can you make the difference? Here are three simple concepts that will help you separate a successful long-term relationship from those which that should end early.
1- A Similar Health Philosophy.
Once they score a relationship, some people just let their physical appearance decline. They stop exercising, eating well and soon enough gain weight, bad looks and more. That’s unfair for the other partner, and can cause tensions in the relationship.
In a healthy couple, each partner should show respect to the other by staying fit, healthy and as attractive as they can. If you let yourself go, your partner might start looking around for someone else – and with a reason.
Quick tip for guys: always look at her mother. If she’s fat, bad looking and not fit, expect a same destiny with your partner.
2- Liberty.
It’s nice to have a close and intimate relationship, but it doesn’t have to be everything. Each partner should have his or her own separate life. If you do everything together, you’ll slowly kill the relationship. You must let your partner be free.
This includes maturity, which is essential to the success of the relationship. Letting your partner free demands you to be respecful of his or her time and to understand that she has a life beyond you.
3- Good Sex.
In most relationships the passing years slowly kill the sex drive. Those magical moments from the beginning fade, and sex becomes boring and inconsistent in the long run. This can have terrible consequences and can become a big source of tension in the couple, especially if one partner is less interested in sex than the other.
Insatisfaction in bed then leads to cheating, fights and, eventually, even to a break up. What looked like healthy relationships then falls apart, and a growing resentment starts to grow between the partners.
This doesn’t need to happen. You must talk about sex with your partner often and from the beginning, making clear what you want, what you expect, and the long term conditions. It’s all for the better.
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Have agreed on these tips. These are all essential in a relationship in order to maintain and balance everything between you.
That’s it? Those are the three crucial ingredients to a relationship? I think this list is a bit anemic, personally.
First of all, and this must be said: many women are completely different than their mothers. My mother was an alcoholic and drug abuser, and when she mellowed out she settled into taking tons of pain meds and psych drugs, and lives off the government . On the other hand, I went to college, have supported myself, and I don’t drink or take drugs (and never have.) So why do you think my mom and I would have similar paths in life and I would end up looking like her?
But aside from that, I think there is a lot left out of this list – other things that are crucial to a long term relationship are learning how to “fight productively” rather than tear each other apart, knowing how to keep your PARTNER interested in sex (rather than just expecting them to “meet your needs”, having a shared spiritual life, and above all, having a sense of purpose together in life.
Very insightful Katie, thank you! I know three keys is a bit too short – each relationship is its own world, and there are many, many factors that will play importance. It’s just my view here, a few picks. But comments like yours enrich the discussion =)