Moran Atias

How To Pick Up Women At a Coffee Shop

Bars and clubs are not the only places where you can go and look for beautiful women. Instead, you should try approaching during the day and at unconventional places. Once you have a bit of practice you’ll find pick up easier and your results will be much better.

Why The Coffee Shop

Coffee Shops are perhaps the ultimate place to pick up girls. They have the best of the bars and the best of the daytime approaches. They are full of beautiful women, have a relaxed atmosphere and competition is slim. Find the right café and visit it often.

Golden Rules of Coffee Shop Pick Up

There are a few things that make the coffee shop approach special. All of these make the situation different from the other daytime strategies. Take a look and keep them in mind:

Rule #1: Conversation and interaction will be longer.

This is inevitable. Conversation will normally be long, perhaps even longer than an hour. You might go over more topics, thoughts and ideas than in any other kind of approach. That is, of course, if you are building rapport between you too.

This is great. It will make the interaction something like an instant first date. You’ll have to treat it as such if what you want is success. Have your dating skills well calibrated and work to build something big out of this. Read the first date mistakes, remember all of the girl’s possible indicators of interest and have a few anecdotes and stories handy for some laugh together.

Also, just in case, remember false time constraints. Maybe she fears that you’ll be speaking with her for too long. Relax her by telling her you’ll have to be somewhere quite soon. Then, if the she’s really into you just tell her you rather spend a few more minutes chatting with her.

Rule #2: You shouldn’t be that direct.

I know I told you countless times to be direct during the day. Fine, but this coffee shop approach is somehow different. Unlike other places this time you’ll have more time for conversation and for the interaction. This will make a casual talk more likely to succeed.

Just don’t play too safe. It won’t get you anywhere! So be flirty, interesting and fun. Don’t speak only about the mundane and ordinary, go beyond. Gently tease, use each opportunity to carve down into the deep feelings, emotions and ideas.

Rule #3: Looks, time and the people.

This is quite simple. The people who will visit the coffee shop will be different depending on the time of the day. Morning is different from lunch and so is the late afternoon. Who are your targets? Go to the coffee shop when the girls you like will be there.

Also remember your looks. Don’t look lousy: be well dressed. Get a shirt, a nice bag and, above all, look clean. Please do. Try to be as handsome as possible and quickly stand out from the other guys in the shop. Girls will notice and that will play in your advantage!

The Coffee Pick Up In Action

With the rules said, let’s move on to the strategies. It’s really similar to what you would do in a club or bar: open, engage, close. Here it goes:

A- Opening.

Opening shouldn’t be that hard. You’ll have at least a million to open with. What is the girl doing? Is there something cool you are doing that she should learn about? Think. An opinion, observation or just a few lines could open the conversation with ease.

This time you won’t be that constrained. A coffee place is more relaxed, much more open and less creepy that a bus, train or the street to approach. But open with confidence. Speak loud and clear, keep eye contact and smile. Also make sure you don’t invade her space too soon.

B- Talking.

Be natural and keep a nice conversation going. Be flirty, fun and make her enjoy talking to you. Your goal has to make her feel comfortable, nothing else. It’s really easier than you think; you just need to keep your line.

Speak to girls as if you had known them for long. Even if you met ten minutes ago, do it. It will make people feel good around go. Also avoid all conflictive topics, gently tease and make a focus on her. Speak passionately, don’t interview and never go too far.

C- Closing.

If you had a nice chat she’ll give you her number or email. It will be natural; you won’t need to force it. But always give a catch: invite her to a future party, tell her you could send her info about something, tell her you want her to mail you something, etc. Do it while the conversation is going and don’t look desperate.

Don’t look for something else. Trying to take her home this fast could probably ruin everything. Make sure you don’t do that. Instead focus on getting a second date, chatting a little bit more or doing something interesting together. That’s where the win is. Remember what to say on the phone too!

Enjoy your coffees!


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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

George November 26, 2009 at 3:44 am

This is pretty good advice. What I’d like advice on is the ‘approach’. Simply walking up can seem a little awkward – any tips on opening?

Mario November 26, 2009 at 3:43 pm

@ George

Approach from moment zero. As soon as you get to the coffee place, sit next to or near (talking distance) from the girl you would like to meet. That will make matters easier. Once she looks up to you (usually they do when you are sitting down) smile and say hello loud and clear. You can then immediately make a small comment (weather, time of the day, coffee, whatever!) and test how the girl reacts.

And don’t worry about awkwardness… As long as you appear with confidence, smile and talking naturally things will end up fine. Worst case is that she just doesn’t want to speak and you move on.

Just make sure, as always, not to stay chit-chatting that long. It will kill your chances!

Sean January 3, 2010 at 2:10 am

Coffee shops are great pick-up spots. They become one of the best when you do not hesitate to approach if the girl is not sitting near you, however.

If there is an attractive girl who is at a table away from you, for instance, get comfortable approaching her directly. If you can make eye contact before approaching her, make a quick smile to ease the distance. However, if you can’t, it’s okay. Just approach her with an opening question and ask if you mind if you join her..

Sean January 3, 2010 at 2:15 am

George, try to make eye contact with her prior to approaching, and be sure to smile at her. Do not stare at her. This is going to make it very awkward.

However sometimes you cannot make eye contact with her..this is okay. Just approach her anyway. Use an opening question, and ask if you mind if you join her.

It’s uncomfortable for a lot of people and that’s why it seems awkward for you to do. But the fact is that it gets a lot easier with practice and repetition. Keep on doing it, leave your ego at the table, and you’ll feel more comfortable. And always remember, do not get caught up or focus on negative thoughts about getting rejection. Good luck.

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